Dark's Logic
by VampireApple
Summary: Dark takes a test to test his logic. If he 'wins' he gets 13 fat cows. AUish. No pairings. Complete.


Kitty: I just had to write this. I thought it'd be fun. I had written this before, to be four chapters long, but changed it to become a one-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own D N Angel or the questions.

Dark was flying home one night after stealing another some-thing-or-other when he flew into a tree and fell to the ground. Once he was able to see again, he stood up and looked around. Before he got the chance to blow up the tree, a peace of paper blew into his face. Pulling it down from his face, he looked at it. Then grinned and decided to keep it.

Still looking at the paper he started to run home. And promptly ran into the tree. Glaring at said tree, Dark blew it up and ran home. When Dark finally got to Dai's room after being tackled by Emiko and nearly hugged to death, he set out to work on the paper since Dai was asleep.

**Test your logic. Answer all questions and send them to 42 Wallaby Way Sydney. The winner will be sent 13 fat cows.**

1) Do they have a 4th of July in England? I'm Japanese. Not English.

2) How many birth days does the average man have? Dai has a birthday party every year but I think he was only born once... I think... I'll have to ask Krad. He's smart like that.

3) Why can't a man living in Winston-Salem, N.C be buried west of the

Mississippi river? Cuz he doesn't like it over there. He wants to come to Japan. We have pocky.

4) If you had only one match, and entered a room in which there was a kerosene lamp, an oil heater, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first? I can see in the dark. My name is Dark. If it where cold, I'd just use my magic to keep warm. Or Daisuke.

5) Some months have 30 days, some have 31. How many have 28 days? I sleep during all of Dai's classes, so I never know the date. Unless I get bored in the night and watch the news.

6) If a doctor gave you 3 pills and told you to take one every half hour, how long would they last you? I don't go to the doctors, so I wouldn't know. I just use magic.

7) A man builds a house with 4 sides to it, and it is rectangular shape. Each side has a southern exposure. A big bear comes wandering by. What color is the bear? What ever color it wants to be. How does a house and a bear fit together any way?

8) How far can a dog run into the woods? Not very far till the trees start to attack. Trees hate me. They always hit me.

9) What 4 words appear on every denomination of U.S coins? Once again, I'm Japanese, not English or American. LEAVE ME ALONE!

10) What is the minimum number of active baseball players of the field during any part of an inning? How many outs in each inning? I'm a thief, not a baseball player. Don't ask me. Emiko might know though, she loves that game.

11) I have in my hand 2 U.S coins which total 55 cents in value. One is not a nickel. Please keep this in mind. What are the 2 coins? Do I look American to you? Well, I don't think I look Japanese either, but that's besides the point. I'M NOT ENGLISH OR AMERICAN!

12) A farmer had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did he have left? Does it look like I go to school? I have fangirls. I don't need school.

13) Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? What subject would this be under? English? Well, I didn't take any English classes!

14) Two men played checkers. They played 5 games and each man wins the same number of games. How can you figure this out? Who cares? I stole the checker pieces.

15) Take 2 apples from 3 apples and what do you have? I have them all. I'm a thief, remember?

16) An archeologist claimed he found some gold coins dated 46 B.C. Do you think he did? I don't care. I'd just steal them any ways.

17) A woman gives a beggar 50 cents. The woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come? Their both girls. Are they hot? Sexy would be better.

18) How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the Ark with him? Wasn't Noah the one to do that?

19) Is it legal in North Carolina for a man to marry his widow's sister? As long as the sister is hot, it's fine. If she's sexy, she's mine.

20) What word is mispelled in the test? I didn't take science, but I think it's the word 'what'

21) Which weighs more, a pond of feathers or a pound of gold? Feathers are better then gold, so does it matter?

22) What is wrong with this statement? In France some Roman coins were recently dug up with the pictures of Julius Caesar on one side, and the date was 44 B.C on the other side. This is new. Now you don't think I'm English or American, or Roman or French. I don't know if it is an improvement or what. But I'm Japanese.

23) Three volumes, each an inch thick, stand in orderly arrangement on a shelf. Dis-regarding the thickness of the backs, how far does a bookworm, traveling in the shortest path, go in eating through from page one of Volume 1 to the last page of Volume 3? I really don't read that much. I'm too busy stealing, so I wouldn't know. Ask Dai.

24) A big Indian and a little Indian were crossing a log over a stream. The little Indian was the son of the big Indian, but the big Indian was not the father of the little Indian. What was the relationship of the big Indian to the little Indian? I'm not English or American or Roman or French or Indian. I'm Japanese. GET IT THOUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!

25) Which would you prefer – an old 10 dollar bill or a new one? I'd rather have 100 yen. I don't use dollars.

26) An Arab, dying, left his estate to the one of his two sons whose horse would lose the race between them. How was the race run? I'm not English or American or Roman or French or Indian or Arab. I'm Japanese. Keep trying. You'll get it right some day.

27) An Arab sheik left all his property to his 3 sons - to the eldest, one half of his seventeen camels; to the second son, one third; and to the youngest son, one ninth. Since the old sheik had no intention of having one of his camels killed, the Cadi was called in and solved the difficulty quite easily. How did he satisfy everyone? Use magic to bring the dead camel back to life. If you can't do it, ask Krad. He's good at that kinda thing. But it would be a zombie camel. And you'd have a hard time getting it from Krad too. He wants a zombie army.

28) A hunter walked around a tree trying to shoot a squirrel. The wary squirrel negotiated his turns around the tree so that he was never in sight of the hunter. Did the hunter go around the squirrel? Why should I care about the squirrel? I hate squirrels and trees. I'd blow them both up.

29) Which is more – 6 dozen or half a dozen? I like care. I didn't take English, remember?

30) Which would you prefer – a truckload of nickels or half a truckload of dimes? How bout a truck load of Hikari art work?

31) In an automobile races around a circular track, which wheel will wear out faster, the outer or the inner? I don't drive, I fly. So I wouldn't know. Ask Krad. When cars first cam out, he went driving in one. He tried to get me to come, but I chose life.

32) If a person kept studying for and more about less and less, what would he finally know? Sounds like some thing Daisuke would do on accident.

33) There are 12 one-cent stamps in a dozen, but how many 2 cent-stamps are there in a dozen? I don't mail things. That's what Dai does. Ask him.

34) A shepherd had 17 sheep. All but 9 died. How many did they have left? Does it look like I care?

35) If three cats kill three rats in three minutes, how long will it take 100 cats to kill 100 rats? I don't care. Just as long as they don't try and eat With. Dai would be sad. And didn't I say I didn't take English class?

36) If a hen and a half lays an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many eggs will a hen lay a day? That sounds like an English problem to me.

37) This and that and a half of this and that is what percent of this and that? Wha...? Where a question there?

38) How many pots would be required to enclose a square in land 10 rods on each side, if pots are 1 rod apart? I DIDN'T TAKE ENGLISH! LEAVE ME ALONE!

39) How many steps do you ascend in going form the first to the fourth floor of a building if each flight has 11 steps? Look, I'm a phantom thief, not an English person.

40) How many cubic inches of dirt are in a hole, the dimensions of which are 7" x 8" x 10"? Look at what I just wrote. Leave me alone. Oh, am I done?

Dark grinned as he put the paper down and signed his name at the top. Sneaking down stairs, he got a stamp and envelop and mailed the letter.

Five weeks later, all four Niwa's were out on their front porch looking at 13 fat cows that were eating the lawn.

Kitty: Yes, well... I got these question from math class and got a friend to type them for me and email them to me. Then I finally wrote this.


End file.
